What do you do when you feel like everyone thinks you’re weird…?
Right now, I’m at our rental property in Florida through December. We didn’t come down here for three years due to the pandemic, then we were here for 6 weeks last Christmas so while I love this place, I just haven’t spent a lot of time here lately.
This year, it’s all about hurricane clean up so when I’m not working I’m building fences, replacing the roof on the lanai, painting and doing hundreds of other small repairs (or helping Berk do the big ones).
We’re also celebrating the holidays here this year. Berk’s sister lives nearby full time and my brother, who lives in Oklahoma where we were raised, is coming to visit for Thanksgiving. When he and his wife arrive next week, it will be their first time to visit me at this house.
When visiting Florida, especially when there is family involved (mine or Berk’s) I’m always a little out of my comfort zone and I tread lightly. I’m not anxious or constricted about it anymore… but I used to be.
Last week, I got to practice (metaphorically) making sure I’m truly comfortable in waters that I don’t usually swim in. Which is great because the Thanksgiving “water” will definitely be hotter.
Berk’s sister invited us to a dinner party last Thursday night. She’s previously made it clear that she doesn’t approve of my animal-free diet, however she semi-grudgingly accepts it because it comes along with the package that is me and I’m hooked alongside her brother.
This was a low-key affair. The plan was that she would make appetizers and order a bunch of take-out Indian food for the main course. A neighbor who specializes in baking fancy three layer cakes would bring the dessert.
I knew that if I didn’t proactively call her and request that she include a vegan dish with her order, I wouldn’t be having dinner.
A few years ago, this would have terrified me: calling someone up, acting like I’m special, making a request that I require something different from everyone else… I would have stressed about it for days. I might have not even done it at all, and just sat resentful and hungry while everyone else ate at the party.
This year, I calmly looked up the menu online and let her know exactly what I’d like from the restaurant. She thanked me and that was that.
It might seem like no big deal to you but I used to feel a lot of constriction around holding my ground and asking for exactly what I need. Even bringing my own food along and eating something separate from everyone else was really hard for me.
The old Blaine would have watched everyone else eat three layer cream cheese frosting cake and felt left out.
Now I’m 100% grounded, calm and happy in these situations.
This was a good test for me too, because Thanksgiving is coming up soon and that’s a whole other can of worms.
Not just around food either. Thanksgiving brings family triggers, politics (unfortunately) and other people’s attachments into the mix.
This year, I’m not worried about anything.
So… what has shifted between how I used to be and how I am now?
My energy.
Energy runs in habit loops and gets stuck but it can be rewired from one set of emotions to a completely new way of being.
And it’s not hard to do!
Do you want repattern your energy? Send me an email and I’m happy help!