What you are is what you have been.

What you will be is what you do now.

                                  ~ Lord Buddha

In 2013, I had a full-time corporate career with 100% travel. I was also a serious athlete, competing in marathons and triathlons in the US, Mexico and Europe. 

I had a coach who, from a training and racing perspective, guided every step I took. What she said to do, I did. She was an Olympian who’d achieved every athletic achievement she’d set out for and I’m someone who’s great at adhering to a plan.

Work? That was going great. Competition? That was also on track. My mental health? A nightmare.

I had a mean voice in my head that consistently told me I wasn’t working hard enough to achieve my goals and I was plagued by negative thought loops that I just couldn’t stop.

One day, while talking to my coach on the phone and vibrating with emotions that I need to work harder, I blurted “I want to start meditating.” I hadn’t planned to say that so it seemed like it came out of nowhere.

“Why would you want to do THAT?” she said.

That question hit me sideways. Of course looking back now, it’s obvious why I needed meditation in my life, but right then I was in the middle of the tornado and I wasn’t sure how to answer her. 

Why WAS I internally being pushed to start doing this thing that I didn’t know anything about?

Before I knew it, this came flying out of my mouth: “For mental peace.”

I didn’t think those words, they just poured out of me

For me to write that my life is 100% different now than it was back then isn’t hyperbole.

Back then, I believed what I thought. I didn’t know that my mind told me things that aren’t true. I couldn’t get out of my head.

And, this is the big one, I thought that I couldn’t change my life. Other people could change their lives, obviously, but not me! I was different, my circumstances were unique and I had to keep on doing what I was doing because FOR SPECIAL ME there was no other way.

The doorway to possibility was slammed closed.

It’s a good thing I didn’t listen to my coach’s skepticism and went ahead and pursued learning how to meditate.

Because when I did, the door cracked open and a little beam of light shone through.

Maybe I can change this one thing…

Then the crack widened.

Well, if I changed that then I could change this.

Eventually, the door fell off its hinges.

It’s commonly quoted that what you do in the first 30 minutes of your day affects the trajectory of how your day unfolds. I believe that. I’ve experienced it.

I also know, because I’ve seen my students do it, that you don’t need to meditate first thing in the morning. However, you do need to be consistent.

Today, I still marvel that “for mental peace” flew out of my mouth that day. I can honestly say that my brain didn’t know that’s what I needed.

But my heart did.

Today, I love to teach others to meditate. Almost as much as I love doing it myself.

PS – Ok… sometimes I don’t love meditating. But I DO love what it does in my life so I keep it up, every single day.