I think it’s safe to say that, pre-divorce, they were both fairly similar to me. They cared about their health, ate a plant-heavy diet, exercised consistently, worked hard at jobs that positively impacted people and were fun to be around.

The divorce was hard on both of them. Wrenching. Depleting. Exhausting. Soul-crushing.

It was catastrophic.

Observing what happened next, from the place from where I could see, illuminated the power of the choices that we make, both in and through a crisis.

She changed careers and moved to a new city, raked with fear. She felt the intensity of it all, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep.

She needed help. So she started doing yoga and created a deep daily practice. She committed herself to a ritual where she did a hard yoga physical practice and a meditation, without fail, every single morning.

He also moved and needed something to propel him through the emotional turbulence. He chose drinking, drugs and women.

One year post-divorce, they find themselves in two very different places.

This is a story about the choices we make.

And how those choices can lead us to a land of new possibility. Or not.

It’s so easy to make indulgent choices, rather than ones that build strength, character and resilience.

Yet its the seemingly comfortless choices that prepare us for the heat of life.

What makes the hard choices easier is to make them every day, so we get good at it. Even if they’re little ones that bring short-term disturbance.

Waking up a few minutes early for morning contemplation.

Choosing the broccoli over the french fries.

Exercising when you don’t want to.

Saying no to the glass of wine when everyone else said yes.

It’s all part of the process of learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Feeling the unpleasant pinch of difficulty each day keeps us limber and agile.

So when the time comes that it matters, we know how to make the hard choice when comfort seems so beckoning.

There are various tools and support to help us do this. My personal path has been yoga.