If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.  

Wow! I got a big response from what I wrote about my drinking story. Honestly, I was terrified to send it, but it’s part of my path to show people how to live authentically so I knew I had to do it.

Even though I felt fragile and vulnerable.

I took my courage even further and put the story on social media which is where WAYYYY more people actually know me.

The time arrived for me to uncover my truth because I’ve shifted my career into helping people…

…and neither repression nor denial has ever helped anyone.

I can’t write about shame without referencing Brené Brown. I call her “my yoga teacher who’s not a yoga teacher.”

Which may sound weird to some because here in the West, many people have only been introduced to “yoga” as exercises on a yoga mat. True yoga is the journey to the self, including self acceptance. Putting your body into poses is actually a very small part of yoga.

Brené’s work has helped me do just that: accept myself. I’ve learned everything I know about shame from her.

So, she may not know it, but she’s a yoga teacher.

Brené has taught me that shame can’t survive the light.

Shame wants you to deny your flaws and failures. It encourages you to reject parts of yourself that you think others will judge or dislike.

Shame tells you that people won’t like your imperfect true self. It also tells you that if you reveal your struggles, people will no longer be able to see all the positive things about you. Instead, they’ll remember and focus on the “bad” parts.

Therefore, you should keep your missteps concealed at all costs.

You’ll never feel fully happy and at peace if you think you need to keep hiding parts of yourself.

Once you talk about it, the fear has no more bite. There is nothing to be afraid of, because you were brave enough to stand as your true self.

To do this, you don’t have to write a newsletter or post on social media, you can simply talk to a trusted friend or counselor.

And then you’re free.

Shame can’t survive the light.