Last night, Berk and I went out to dinner in Mallorca. We have a VRBO so we cook dinner in the kitchen at our little house near the beach about half of the time and we go out to dinner the other half. Lunch is often at little cafes we stop at as we’re biking or hiking.

As someone who doesn’t drink anymore, I can’t help but notice all of the alcohol consumption around here: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Including daytime drinking by cyclists who are going to get right back on their bike.

I grew up in a house where drinking was normal and habitual. During dinner every night, get-togethers with friends, kids’ birthday parties, football games, vacations and most activities in between, there were cups of alcohol in hand. I especially remember childhood vacations with lots of cocktails at pools, beaches and fancy resort restaurants where we had to dress up and be quiet.

As I’ve written about before, I subsequently shaped my life into the same protocols around alcohol (with my own unique twists of course). It was easy as I was surrounded by friends and colleagues who did the exact same thing.

I’m not sure what generation normalized abnormal drinking. In my peer group, we all thought our drinking culture was a harmless enjoyable thing.

In other words, we believed alcohol is, as addiction expert Veronica Valli calls it, “the ticket to fun.” So as I’m here in Mallorca looking around, I get it. When do you want to have more fun than on an island vacation?

Through marketing, TV shows, movies, and our friends, we’ve all been sold the idea that alcohol is the best vehicle to achieve fun, relaxation, connection with others, parties, relationships and love (aka, sex).

We’re so convinced that these things are not available to us without alcohol that we reject all evidence that alcohol is harming us.

Or, even if we can admit that alcohol is destructive, we keep drinking it because who doesn’t want fun, relaxation, connection with others, parties, relationships and sex?

I mean, looking at it that way, bring on the alcohol!

Our culture has done such an amazing job convincing us that alcohol is the ticket to fun then obviously the opposite must be true. No alcohol equals no fun.

And who wants to live a life with no fun?

This is the paradigm that keeps so many tied to an abusive relationship with alcohol: the societal story that you’ll miss out if you quit. It also perpetuates a myth that’s been created by big alcohol to generate billions of dollars for their industry.

As a side benefit to the pharmaceutical companies, it also sells antidepressants as alcohol is a proven central nervous system depressant.

As I have restaurant meals with Berk here on the island and look around, I’m simultaneously saddened by all the parents with their children ordering drink after drink and also filled with joy that I’ve stepped off that treadmill. Today, I’m grateful, happy, thriving and vibrating with health all day every day in a way that was impossible when I was yo-yoing from alcohol consumption.

I’m here to tell you that we’ve been fed a lie.

Alcohol is not the ticket to fun.

On vacations and every day of your life, without alcohol, you get to enjoy every single minute.

When you’re not numbing yourself with booze, everything is more lively and energetic. The laughter, the conversation, and the good feelings from just being surrounded by people you love.

Of the regrets from my drinking days, the worst is knowing there are wonderful memories I missed out on.

And I know I went through all of that then so that I can share this now: alcohol does not bring us fun, relaxation, connection with others, parties, relationships and sex – people do.