Personal Growth
I’m changing my business
A couple of weeks ago, I shared that I’m making some business changes and that I would let you know more this week. It’s taken me years to make this decision. Sometimes, I’m lightning-fast, and sometimes, I’m a turtle. This choice has been a sleepy-turtle-paced affair. In 2019, I started doing part-time contract work for Lauren Walker, founder of Energy Medicine Yoga. At the time, I owned a brick-and-mortar yoga studio and agreed to help her out on the side. In 2020, the pandemic reshaped both of our worlds. EMYoga, an online company, flourished while my yoga studio faced unprecedented [...]
Muscles for Life: How I’m Preparing for a Stronger Future
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about “training for my old lady body” and how all the work I’m doing now to build muscle and strengthen bone isn’t about how I look today (although I do like the aesthetic benefits), it’s about how well I’ll function in the last decade or two of my life. Since then, I’ve received several emails, texts and flexing-bicep emojis from lots of YOU so I know that this idea resonates and you too want to exercise for your old lady body. Recently, I got a DEXA scan (a special, full body x-ray) [...]
Reflecting on January: How Does Your Time Reflect Your Priorities?
Hi I'm checking in today because we’re gettin’ round to the end of January which means that 2024 is almost 1/12th over. If you’re taking the 3-month program, Radical Health Accelerator with me, we’re almost at the end of week three. This means it’s a great time for everyone to pick up their head for a moment, take stock, and consider how this month has been for you. As I wrote about last week, my philosophy in life is BE-DO-BE-DO, meaning I go back and forth between doing things and resting and reflecting. I think that where we are in [...]
It’s Time to Challenge Those Social Media Quotes
Do you have any phrases that just irk you? Ones that people post on social media all the time and talk about like they’re facts and you think, “No! I don’t think that’s how it is”? I’ve been noticing a bunch of popular quotes and phrases like that. Here’s one I’m seeing a lot right now, I think because we’re in January goal-setting season and counterculture is trying to slow that down. Here it is: You’re a human BEING, not a human DOING. While that sounds all nice and relaxing and everything, we’re not just here to chill out. Of [...]
From Goal Setting to Goal Getting
OMG, I’m going extra crazy on my goal setting this year. Actually, it’s not the goal setting I’m spending all of my time on, it’s the research. Particularly neuroscience. Part of me is tempted to write you a huge synopsis on what I’ve learned recently, but the *smarter* part of me thinks you’ll yawn and delete this email halfway though so I’m not doing that. What I do want to share with you though is the most impactful book I read in 2023 that’s loosely related to goal setting but is actually closer to goal tracking. The book was recommended [...]
How I’m going for it in 2024!
Hi there! I know you’re in the bustle of holiday stuff, but in case you’re also slightly peeking into 2024 and trying to figure out what you want to focus on, I have a little story for you. It’s a story I’d forgotten about, but as I’m doing my own journaling and exploration about what I want 2024 to look like for me, this memory returned to me and I’m using it as a metaphor for how I’d like to approach next year. I used to do a lot of racing like marathons and triathlons. When you do a race [...]
From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion
Sometimes, I call our current era “The Zoom Age.” I already used Zoom regularly before the pandemic because it was how I met with the EMYoga team twice a week. But I didn’t teach yoga on Zoom or depend on it for my business to nearly the degree that I do now. And really, I wouldn’t even have the business I currently have or be working in Florida for the winter like I am if it wasn’t for technology like Zoom. But there is one thing that I dislike about using Zoom for several hours a day and it’s not [...]
The Ripple Effect of Quitting: How Giving Up on Yourself Can Sabotage Success
Last weekend, I was having lunch with some girlfriends and we got into a discussion about committing to do new things (meditation, journaling, eating healthier, getting up earlier for self care, consistent exercise, etc.) But then quitting while still in the this-is-new-and-uncomfortable phase OR not even showing up for ourselves and actually giving it a try. Fortunately, as often happens due to the intelligent ways of the Universe, I’d read some studies on quitting just a couple of days before our lunch. And, since the science and energy of habit-change is one of my most favorite subjects, it was fun [...]
From Trophies to Transformation: A Letting Go Story
Just checking in on you… have you got the memo yet? It’s fall which means it’s time to let go. Be like the tree, drop your leaves, trust that you won’t ever miss them or wish that you still had them when you’re shivering in the cold. Rejoice in your bare, naked, lonely and exposed emotions! Yes, I’m being a little sarcastic there, but I do feel like the relentless LET GO chant of autumn, while well intentioned, doesn’t dig deep enough into the fact that sometimes it is really hard. It’s true that you need to let go of [...]
A Journey of Healing and Connection: The Yoga Way
I’m going to start this newsletter for you today with a kind of sad story, but it gets better so hang with me. Not so long ago, in a past iteration of Blaine, when I was in the corporate career phase of my life, I didn’t have a lot of true friends. My closest friends were my triathlon training buddies, but I traveled 100% for my job so I wasn’t home to train with them that much. I had work friends too but they were merely that - work friends. For my job, a couple of times a year I’d [...]
How I finally found mental peace.
What you are is what you have been. What you will be is what you do now. ~ Lord Buddha In 2013, I had a full-time corporate career with 100% travel. I was also a serious athlete, competing in marathons and triathlons in the US, Mexico and Europe. I had a coach who, from a training and racing perspective, guided every step I took. What she said to do, I did. She was an Olympian who’d achieved every athletic achievement she’d set out for and I’m someone who’s great at adhering to a plan. Work? That was going great. Competition? [...]
Why Fall Beats January 1: Seize the Season!
I’m back from my trip to Vancouver Island (and Cortes Island where I worked at an EMYoga retreat at an incredible location called Hollyhock). I mean, just look at this garden at Hollyhock! When you combine the vacation part of my trip with the work part, I was gone for an incredible 18 days of new experiences and renewal. Now that I’m home, there’s a new moon (time to reset and create) and my birthday is on Friday (time to reflect and plan). And… to put the cherry on top of all of this plant-new-seeds energy, we’re approaching fall in [...]
5 Weeks of Discipline: Embracing Change and Reaping the Benefits
5 weeks ago, I started a new diet and exercise routine. I don’t remember ever being on a diet before. Maybe when I was a teenager I tried something for 3 days, or I did a 5-day detox thing when I used to drink… but never a sustained calorie counting thing like this is. Since turning 50 a year ago and knowing menopause was just around the corner, I’ve been playing pitch-and-catch inside my brain about what the right course of action should be for me to increase muscle mass. I knew that there are two sides to that equation: [...]
Ditching the dropout: How to stay committed from start to finish.
Last week, I wrote to you about how the Fire element (from the Chinese Five Elements) which is always up in the Summer, was making me a little unbalanced, ungrounded and mistake-prone. If you missed that newsletter, you can read it here. The personal story I shared with you in that writing demonstrated the “negative” side of Fire-out-of-balance energy But Fire energy season has a fabulous positive side too! In this season, we often feel enthusiastic and want to accomplish a lot of things during the longer days with all the sunlight. I lived in Anchorage, Alaska for a couple [...]
Overcoming Fear: Embracing Change for a Healthy Life
Last week, in an email to you, I shared that I’m at a place in my life where I need a change. If you missed why, you can read it here. I make a living by teaching energy, health and longevity for women over 50. There are many components to it: daily energy routines, yoga, eating a diet rich in a variety of plants, getting enough sleep, eliminating alcohol, meditation and contemplation, regular cardiovascular exercise and strength training. I don’t teach anything that I can’t/won’t do myself. I spend a lot of time learning from my teachers and reading research specific [...]
The scary journey of personal growth.
I used to be a marathon coach for beginner marathoners. Many of my students were new to running and chose to tackle a marathon for fundraising purposes. Often someone close to them (a spouse or family member) had recently been diagnosed with cancer or another disease and they felt paralyzed and helpless. Instead of treading water in their stress and grief, these motivated souls would register for a marathon in partnership with a research organization and fundraise for a cure. Running 26.2 miles was the carrot to encourage people they knew to donate. At this point in my running career, I’d [...]
Learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
I have two friends who divorced one another over a year ago. I think it’s safe to say that, pre-divorce, they were both fairly similar to me. They cared about their health, ate a plant-heavy diet, exercised consistently, worked hard at jobs that positively impacted people and were fun to be around. The divorce was hard on both of them. Wrenching. Depleting. Exhausting. Soul-crushing. It was catastrophic. Observing what happened next, from the place from where I could see, illuminated the power of the choices that we make, both in and through a crisis. She changed careers and moved to [...]
Is your attachment slowing your growth?
What kind of a shopper are you? Do you go to the store every day and only have a couple of days of groceries on hand at any time? Or do you do big once-a-week shops? Berk (my partner) and I encompass both. I’m more of a daily shopper and he’s a hardcore Costco shopper. On one of our first dates, back when we were in that get-to-know-each-other phase, I asked him what his favorite thing to do was. His reply? Food shopping. (Seriously, that’s what he said.) I started eating a vegan diet almost 15 years ago. Back then people [...]
The hardest part of being a woman.
Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship? It used to happen to me like clockwork. Whenever I’d get involved with someone new, Blaine as I knew her would disappear. Or so I thought... What I know now is that I entered the relationship already lost. I started straying from myself long before I was old enough to date. Like so many of you, I was conditioned from a young age to hold myself back and give, give, give to ensure the needs of others, especially men, were met before my own. It was my blueprint as a woman. I was [...]
The energy of worry
My partner, Berk, is a worrier. His sister is too. Berk and I have a rental property near Sarasota, FL and his sister lives full time nearby. Whenever some kind of weather event is headed that direction, I need to strategically leave the room when they talk on the phone. The conversation starts spinning fast, decorated with worst case scenarios and predictions of total devastation. Worry talk from Berk spills over to me in direct ways too: "Be careful driving…" and "Don’t leave after dark…" and "Don’t run outside…" These types of directives are issued my way every day. Berk [...]
Is the “American Dream” all it’s cracked up to be?
I grew up programmed to live the “American Dream.” Be a good girl… go to college… climb the corporate ladder... buy a comfortable home… save a bunch of money… retire… die. I decided to skip the marriage and kids part though. I think that was a combination of childhood trauma and being too busy trying to be the best ever at all of the things above. [SIDE TANGO] I was at a Zoom meeting last week with a young woman I’m mentoring. She’s in her 20s. She said “You see Blaine, since the pandemic, women have to make this decision. They need [...]
Traits of the modern matriarch
What does it mean to you to be a matriarch? It’s a role I’ve been thinking about lately, that of the modern matriarch. How women have so much power, even if we don’t see it all yet. Our power can be used first to fulfill ourselves but at the same time, also forge a path to make it easier for other women to be leaders too. Even though I never had children, I’m fully devoted to growing myself into a modern matriarch. It’s eye-opening how many women around me who, even though they are educated, haven’t yet fully discovered that [...]
The next chapter after quitting corporate life.
Last week, someone asked me how I liked Anchorage, Alaska from my time working there on a high-stakes corporate project. “I don’t think I can give it a fair assessment,” I replied. “I was so miserable back then.” If you had met 10-years-ago Blaine, I’m not sure you’d recognize her as the same person I am now. Sure, I looked like a 10 years younger me, but my vibe was intense. I was fiercely competitive, relentlessly comparing myself to an impossible standard, managing large teams of people to meet aggressive work deadlines, living in gyms, hotels, boardrooms and bars, pushing myself [...]
Clearing emotional and physical clutter
It’s Springtime and that means our thoughts turn to cleaning and decluttering our homes, opening our windows and letting in the sun. Do you have a growing pile of mail you've been meaning to get to but just haven’t yet? Maybe there is a half-started project you're finding difficult to muster up enough energy to complete? Are there negative people in your life who keep bringing you down but you continue to put up with them anyway? I have a guest room downstairs that I wouldn’t allow any guest to actually enter. It’s the dumping ground of every box or [...]
How to Spring clean your energy
Last week was also both the spring equinox and the new moon, nestled right up against one another. I was personally feeling all of that new-beginning energy with the launch of the brand new Radical Health Accelerator, the new aerial studio, and I’m also starting a new running training program. It’s not too often that we have this kind of potent energy for planting new seeds, launching new projects, and setting fresh intentions. So I've decided to use this time to take stock of what feels heavy and ready to be released and what I want to focus on to fill [...]
Your 50s: the best decade yet
Last Friday, I chatted on Zoom with a woman in North Carolina. A mutual friend introduced us to each other a few weeks ago by email and after a couple of written exchanges, we decided to meet last week. My new friend is a university professor who’s preparing to leave her career and start her second act in life. She’s looking for guidance and advice from someone who has already been walking that path for a few years. I’m always happy to support other women in whatever way I can so this was an easy yes. The meeting was a lovely 30 [...]
Did you read this bold article about the dangers of alcohol?
Last weekend, one of the lovely women in this community sent me a New York Times article called Even a Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health. Overall, I’m a big fan of this subject going mainstream. HUGE fan. It should have happened 15 years ago. If more major publications publish the truth about the health consequences of drinking, then more people will quit alcohol for health reasons and it won’t be so weird for people to not drink. Just that title makes me cheer out loud… The subtitle is good too: Recent research makes it clear that any amount of drinking [...]
How not to get cancer.
Several years ago, I heard a statement that I didn’t quite believe. Cancer may grow undetected for a decade or more. At the time, I thought that was wild. Isn’t cancer a "thing" when you feel the lump or the diagnostic test comes back positive? Nope, it starts way before that, and we now know it can be over 10 years in the making because researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine can prove it. What I understand now, that I didn’t back then, is this: every day, our body creates cancer cells. Mainstream media presents cancer as this chance thing that [...]
Do you know the difference between your brain and your mind?
We all have a story… When people ask me how I got from a ladder-climbing, part-robot, corporate girl to who I am today, one of the first things I try to explain is what I named "the mean voice in my head." I’ve carried this voice around with me since I was a kid although I don’t remember her as a small child. I think she started bossing me around when I was a pre-teen. I’ve always been competitive and I’m not exactly sure what year my healthy motivation morphed into obsessive perfectionism. It took years of self work to get [...]
Permacrisis
I’ve always found my closest friends from taking (or teaching) group movement classes. Three times in my life, I’ve moved to new cities where I didn’t know one single person. Whenever I’d move to a new place, I’d try out several local gyms and studios and decide which ones I liked. Then I’d apply for a job there so I could teach a few classes and get a free membership. When I’d workout or teach, person by person, I’d make new friends and before I knew it, I’d have a local community. I’ve done it so many times, the formula [...]
Gaslit in goblin mode
Have you heard? Merriam-Webster’s 2022 word of the year is "gaslighting." I usually don’t pay attention to official words of the year, but I think this is an interesting one. Merriam-Webster’s gaslight definition is: to psychologically manipulate (a person) usually over an extended period of time so that the victim questions the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and experiences confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, and doubts their own emotional or mental stability. Back in 2018, gaslight was Oxford English Dictionary’s runner-up word, so it’s been a contender for a while. In addition, Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year is [...]
How unsexy is it to say “move lymph”? (But you gotta do it!)
There are times when I don't want to exercise. I love exercise! But if I’ve been sitting too much and I’m stagnant, it’s really hard to get motivated and moving. I liken this feeling to getting up in the morning. It’s a state change. I have to take myself from a state of sleeping in the dark lying down in stillness to a state of being upright and moving in the light. State changes are hard. Changing from sitting at a computer no-moving girl to workout heart pumping-sweating girl is a big leap. So I have to talk myself into it. When I was younger, my [...]
Your family medical history. Does it even matter?
A fun fact about me that you might not already know is that both of my parents are adopted, only children. That means I’ve never had aunts, uncles, cousins and other relatives like that. It also means I know very little about my genetic code. Today we can undergo genetic testing pretty easily, but when I was a young adult making lifestyle choices, that wasn’t as prevalent as it is now. Luckily, because I’ve been fascinated by health for as long as I can remember, I was exposed to the study of epigenetics early in my life and way before [...]
Even though I’m vegan, in this case I support milk.
There’s a crazy story from last May that’s keeps popping up every now and then. Whenever I read it I’m reminded that some people think it’s inappropriate to not drink alcohol at traditional events that have booze, but this tale is extra fun because there’s a bizarre twist with milk. Here’s the scene: There are three sisters. The middle one got sober 4 months before the oldest sister’s wedding. The youngest sister (too young to drink, only 15) was very supportive of her now sober older (middle) sister and packed a special bag of non-alcoholic drinks for her to have at the [...]
Are you someone who won’t ask for help? It might mean this.
I’m confused about trauma. Trauma with a big T, trauma with a little t, ancestral trauma, psychological trauma, complex trauma, societal trauma, chronic trauma… I know trauma is all around me and within me and it’s so big that I just can’t get my arms around it. I never identified as a person with trauma which is super confusing because that’s impossible, right? I know we can’t compare… but when I look at my privileged white girl life, even though I’ve had my share of tough things it’s not even close to the same ballpark as "real" trauma, I mean, it [...]
Are you a safe person?
Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from a friend. She’s got some tough things going on and wanted to talk.This woman, whom I love, has some unique qualities. She tends to take a stand and fight against the policies of the companies whom she works with. Therefore, she often finds herself backed into a corner where she can either fall on her sword over the matter and end the business relationship, or give into the company and not get what she wants.In these battles, she always has a point. Policies are created for the many and there are exceptional situations [...]
How to plan for your future without missing what’s happening in the present
Whoa nelly… things have changed a lot over the past couple of years. For me, for you, for everyone we know. My job today is a completely different reality than my little brain could have ever dreamed up back in 2020. Today, I primarily teach online about how to be a thriving, healthy woman over 50 using the vehicles of: Energy (daily energy routines, exercise, yoga, meditation) Drinking less (or no) alcohol Eating more plants (and less animal and highly processed food) Just a few months ago, I owned a brick and mortar yoga studio. My whole life has led me to where [...]
Does worry hijack your happy?
Taking a vacation with someone is a funny thing. I’ve heard it said that before a couple gets married, they should vacation together. If one person envisions their perfect vacation as lying on the beach all day and another as visiting a large city and museum touring the whole trip, there could be a problem. Luckily, Berk and I both like very active vacations. When Berk and I are on a cycling vacation, he’s the planner. He studies the maps, looks at the weather, thinks about the pros and cons of riding this way or that and determines our routes. [...]
Do you have the ticket to fun?
Last night, Berk and I went out to dinner in Mallorca. We have a VRBO so we cook dinner in the kitchen at our little house near the beach about half of the time and we go out to dinner the other half. Lunch is often at little cafes we stop at as we’re biking or hiking. As someone who doesn’t drink anymore, I can’t help but notice all of the alcohol consumption around here: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Including daytime drinking by cyclists who are going to get right back on their bike. I grew up in a house [...]
Do you have anxiety? Here’s how to turn that nervousness to joy
Hi , I'm still in Mallorca (this trip is three weeks long). I’ve received a few messages from people who haven’t heard of Mallorca. It’s a Spanish island in the Mediterranean. Berk and I decided to travel here because we like to take cycling trips together (we first met in a cycling club in Connecticut) and Mallorca is known as a great place for biking. If you’ve ever watched the Tour de France, many of those teams travel here to train every year. Yesterday, we rode our bikes up to a lighthouse on a cliff. On paper, the ride didn’t [...]
Do you feel like you have to hide your flaws and failures?
If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive. ~ Brené Brown Wow! I got a big response from what I wrote about my drinking story. Honestly, I was terrified to send it, but it’s part of my path to show people how to live authentically so I knew I had to do it. Even though I felt fragile and vulnerable. I took my courage even further and put the [...]
This is my drinking story (part 2 of 2)
I'm back to tell you the last half of my drinking story that I started a couple of days ago - but we know, the story’s really never over, is it? I’m currently in the chapter where I help other women… and who knows what will come next! On with the story… Two days ago, I left off with resistance. You know, that thing where you make a decision that’s good for you but your habits tell you to keep on doing things the same old way you’ve been doing them? That thing. I finally decided I’d quit alcohol, leave my job [...]
This is my drinking story (part 1 of 2)
Last week, a friend of mine who owns a popular business reached out to me because she wanted to pick my brain about creating a Sober October opportunity for her community. I shared with her that the first time I did Sober October for my yoga studio and sent an email about it, it was the most opened email I’d ever sent. By more than double. Twice as many people opened that email than any other email I’d ever written. That’s hundreds of more people!When I went into my studio to teach later that day, it was all anyone was talking [...]
Do you courageously let the part of you that is uncool shine?
Sunday night, I flew home from Cleveland where I led morning movement classes and co-presented at Energy Fest. It was an incredible experience, partly because the keynote presentations were mind-blowing and transformative, but also because it was so fun to be in community with others. Especially others who are a little… shall we say willing to be different from what standard American culture expects of us? Or, put more bluntly, Energy Medicine people are wonderfully weird, like me! I love my place on the fringes of society. When I am in groups of women who choose not to eat animals or animal products, [...]
A little bit every day over a long period of time
“I don’t understand what people are talking about when they say meditation makes them calmer. I don’t feel like that while I’m meditating. It’s like that runner's high thing… that’s never happened to me either.”A friend of mine recently shared that with me while we were talking on the phone about her frustration with meditation. I tried to explain to her that you don’t necessarily feel the effects of meditation while meditating, you feel them later when your boss gives you 3 new projects and tells you to work all weekend.You also don’t usually feel great during the run, it’s [...]
Do you pass up the temptation today for a bigger reward tomorrow?
Would I like the fries or the side salad? Should I buy the new clothes or put the money in savings? Do I go to the gym or keep sitting here doing what I’m doing? Pleasure now over long term goals… it’s something we wrestle with every day. I’m a member of a few social groups that are focused on helping women stop drinking. I do it for a couple of reasons, one of them being that I am happy to support anyone who needs a boost, but I also learn so much from watching the psychology of what happens [...]
Morning Pages
Earlier this week, I sent you an email about journaling where I wrote about how hard it was for me to start and how profoundly the practice has supported me since I started doing it consistently. One day, while I was running and listening to a podcast, I heard a woman talk about writing and how something called Morning Pages opened a new world to her. She went on to describe how Morning Pages are a daily writing practice and the brainchild of Julia Cameron.What you do is write as soon as you get up when you haven’t dropped into your to-do [...]
The #1 helpful habit women resist (and why)
I love to watch women work through resistance. This includes my own resistance to new things (you know, change) and other people’s resistance too. If there’s ever a time we can rationalize like champions, it’s when we’re resisting something. Recently, I was with a group of women and we were talking about how much we love our Instant Pots. One woman in the group (who we weren’t trying to convince of anything) kept chiming in announcing to us all how she doesn’t need an Instant Pot and all the reasons that she hasn’t bought one and why she doesn’t want [...]
Why does time go faster as we age?
It’s always been fun to have a birthday in August. When I was a kid, we had a backyard pool. Summers lasted foreverrrrrrrr. Remember that? I went to a private school so there was no school district. My friends and classmates lived all over Oklahoma City (which is a large, spread-out city) and moms carpooled us to school.After school let out in May, we didn’t see each other all summer and my backyard birthday party (which was joyfully timed right before the beginning of the school year) was the annual back-to-school get together for all the kids.My parents would set [...]
Don’t assume and take experiences away from people
Here’s a teacher moment I’ll never forget... I’d just returned from studying in India and I was excited to teach some new things to my yoga community in Boulder, CO. Among the new techniques was a lesser-known ancient Himalayan practice of meditative movement called Laya. Laya movements are very feminine and designed to balance the more masculine practice that makes up much of how we practice yoga in the West. These movements were completely different from anything I’d ever seen in a yoga class. They’re much like dance; very flowy and internal and intuitive. As a teacher, it’s uncomfortable to [...]
I sold my business for this
Today is a big day for me. It’s the last day I have my brick-and-mortar yoga studio. The place that has consumed my life for the past 5 years.The new owner and I are meeting this afternoon, I’m showing her some things and dropping my key in her hand.When I walk out and close the door behind me, I can’t just walk into that sacred place, my second home, whenever I want anymore.When that door shuts today, a part of my life is closed forever. And a new door is open.I recently taught an in-person yoga class to 40 people. I [...]
Life Is About Creating Yourself
I have a milestone birthday this year. A birthday with a zero on the end. The exact day isn’t for a few months but I’m already reflecting a little and it’s unbelievable how much I’ve evolved, especially over the last 10 years. It makes me appreciate our capacity and ability to change and, at the same time, reminds me of how many years I spent convincing myself that I couldn’t change. Other people could change, but not me. My life circumstances were so “special” that I was just locked into the corporate job life and that’s how it was. That [...]
My Two-Year War With Myself
I’ve told some of you about how things were for me when I first started meditating. I often describe my experience as a two-year war with meditation (and I also say that just because it took me two years to achieve consistency doesn’t mean it will take others that long). When I think back on that time – the starting and stopping and committing to start over again and failing and being mad at myself and thinking I suck and my brain just won’t do it and I’m so disappointed in my sucky-ness… When I reflect on all that resistance, I have [...]
The role of ego
Social media… I can’t even describe my relationship with it. However, as I sit to write about ego, it’s the first thing that arrives in my mind. As an athlete and yoga teacher, ego and I are very good friends. I’ve spent years working on how fast I can run, obsessing over my place on a race podium (read: how can I defeat others in my quest for the finish line), and examining my body in the mirror to see what I need to change to increase my likelihood of making the podium more of a sure thing. I’ve also [...]
My whole yoga journey started with………… gratitude.
Seriously, this isn't a Thanksgiving gratitude thing. This is how my whole life changed. Back when I was traveling fulltime and living the hotel and business dinner 5- days-a-week life, I was… I don’t even know how to describe it... not as stable as I am now. Yes, I was financially stable, and I had all the stuff that goes with that, but internally - I was a mess. My mind was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough and I needed to do and be more, more, more! The mean voice in my head was absolutely punishing. I can’t [...]
What am I doing?
You sit in front of your computer and are barely able to lift your fingers. You feel tired and don’t know why you are here. You’ve lost your motivation. Do you know this feeling? What am I doing? Not what am I doing right now…. what am I doing?!? In those moments, the inner fire may be burning low, or maybe not at all. Have you ever been camping and tried to start a fire? You’re walking around looking for wood – not just any wood but dry wood that is suitable to create a spark. Then the effort begins [...]